Page exist since 13.07.13 19:00

Alive

I hate to be alive. I never asked to be born. Why am I here? I should be dead. Nobody ever needed me and won't ever need me! They won't need me as much as they won't love me! Everbody hates my, even myself. -Nobody hates me more than myself.

my Jewelry

My Jewelry are my tears.
So much people tries so hard to take them away from me

Need to breathe

Sometimes I just stop breathing for a few seconds... I don't do this for fun... well... you know, I don't do this because I want to. My heart hurts, my head too.. and I just can't breathe anymore. Every day I'm crying quietly because of this. I really don't want to die, but I don't got any other ways out of this.
Inside of me are monsters and they're killing me, they're haunting me! In my head is everything bad, my heart full of hate, my eyes cried too much, my body bleeded too much. I cared too much. Now... I don't care about anything. School is important - I don't care, I have to die anyway. I need money to survive - I don't want to survive.
I WANT TO DIE! Why am I still alive? WHY? I need to shout everything out, It's driving me crazy more and more! Every day- more and MORE! I allready tried to kill myself 10 times, yesterday was my last time- what sould I do? .. Tomorrow will be the day of my dead, won't it? ... I guees.. it won't.. I won't die even next years, but I feel it.. I will die because of sadness.