Watch this OK?

When I'm sad and I'm often, it feels like a punch in the stomach.
Like a bullet through the brain.
As if someone would strangle you.
The eyes are burning and you see everything blurry. As through a veil. Swallowing is increasingly difficult.
One thousand spectators running across the back.
And no one could close the console, which wraps its arms around you.
Coldness surrounds you.
You want to die.
But you can't.
Because you're afraid of death.