I'm sorry. I tried it. I tried my best, I really did. But I can't stand this pain anymore. I just want to end it all and with end it, I mean taking too many pills or cut my wrists open.
None cares in this world anymore. Everyone from my fucking friends knows I'm suicidal and I want to kill myself, yet none asks me if I'm alright. Everyone still believes my fake smile.
After 4 years none fucking noticed my pain. None cared enough to ask a second time if I'm really alright.

I'm sick of it all. Of the laughter when someone sees me, of the bad grades, of my mom screaming at me because of them, of strangers judging me without knowing me, of my granny saying I'm a failure. Of living.

I tried to kill myself last month. Cut my writs open but it was not enough. I told someone and they were laughing at me.
So why stay when none cares. When people just talk with me when I'm making fun because otherwise I'm too "boring" for them.

I'll just disappear. It'll be like I never existed. After 2 weeks everyone already surly forgot me. Cause I'm nothing. And I was never good enough for anyone.
I'm always second choice. Always. But I understand it, who would like doing something with me. The creepy, ugly fat and weird girl who is obsessed with metal music.
I don't fit in. Nowhere. Too different for the normal people and too boring for the other ones.

So this is my last goodbye. And again, I'm sorry but I can't take this shit anymore.