are we lost if hope is all we're searching for? are we desperate if this is all we hope for? are we dead if we can't love anymore? are we?

in my heart, there's something. something that shouldn't be there. something that holds me down and drowns me at the sea as i try to reach out for the sky. i fall. my life is like a sinking ship lost in your dead mind. i can't feel the water pouring into my lungs anymore. i'm already sick of gasping for air. every chapter has an end and mine seems to end here. i gave you everything but in return you showed me how weak i am. how vulnerable i am. i cannot forgive you. but i just realized that i'm nothing without you. i'm a weapon against myself. so drag me through your spiked core, named heart. my love. i'm already drowning in the tears that i've cried. all my memories fade away but you seem to stay.

lace me up and bury me in the fields. so i can see the sunset reaching out for me. and when they harvest, they find me so alive. so alive. can we hope without faith? can we breathe without air? can we miss without a heart? i've lost myself again.