I had the best time with you.
You were really the 1st person i was in love with. You made me feel special and good.
For the first time in life, i felt good enough. You always lighted my days.
I stopped hurting myself. I already had to smile when I saw you were online.
And when you sent me a heart or simply a smiley, my heart jumped. I actually couldnt believe someone like you could really like someone like me. You seemed so perfect. You promised me to never leave.
You know my deepest and worst secrets. None knows them but you.
You made me believe in a better world again. My smile came back. I'll miss our convos. We talked at least 4 hours everyday. Random stuff, but I loved it.
I was able to be myself with you. I didnt had to hide. And I thought you're the first person who wont get tired by all my drama like the others.
I'll never forget you. I couldnt do that. Sadly it seems you did. I'm lucky when you come online every 2 weeks for an hour. These cold replies are killing me.
What happened? Yes there was drama. Way too fucking much drama.
You know what I'm talking about. We broke. But we ended up together again.
I can't live without you. Since your left its like all the happiness you brought has gone too.
Nothing will ever be like it was. Nothing. There will always be words, songs, situations that will remind me of you.
I can't sleep at night. You'r on my mind 24/7. And I don't know how to stop it.
Im lying awake, thinking about the mistakes I made. The words I shouldnt have said or should have.
I know I cant change it. I cant have you back.
You probably hate me. But what can I do else then also hate myself, when the person that knows me better than I do hates me?
But the worst thing is, I cant tell anyone. There is this huge secret we two share.
I begged you to come back, I swore, I cried. Baby I'm running out of ideas to show you what you mean to me.
I wonder if you are thinking about me sometimes or have you already forgotten me?
Please. I need you in my life. Im okay with just being friends again. It would hurt, but better than loosing you completely.
And.. he is here again. He was there. I saw him. I need you.
I'll go crazy without you.
You cant tell me, you just want to forget everything we shared. I'd do anything for you.
I must sound so desperate, but yeah I am.
I know you're sick of talking about me all the time. But you need to understand you were the only one I told my problems too.
But I promise you I wont bother you again with them.
I wish you'd actually read that one day.
Maybe I'll send it to you. Or I'll keep it a secret.
Would it change anything?
I love you. I can't say it often enough.
I fucking love you.
And if thats a goodbye, I hope you'll never forget me.
Cause I wont.
And I hope one day, I'll be able to love again.
I love you,
Sandii. <3
nein 
