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2. July 2011

Dear Özge;

It's still the evening I told you about my relationship.
I am crying...
I am so much sorry, that I had to leave you! Please believe me!

I know, I will never see your face again, or your smile, or something...
...something I loved all the time!
All I have are memories and your picture... And I can visit your Facebook-profile, to see how you are now, and what you are doing.

I am missing you so much.

All I need is you, Özge!

Like you, I'm feeling empty!

And I feel myself guilty... How could I leave you?!


I wish I could talk to you again...


Your...

Last Unicorn

3. July 2011

It's 04:53 am...

I couldn't sleep, cause I feel so bad, so guilty...

How could I leave you?

I miss you soooo sooooo much! Damn!
Yes I do!!!

I tought about us the whole night and what we had. Our little Kingdom in peace. A little whole world...
I just can't explain how i feel, how much I miss you already now. If I only could talk to you now. Tell you what a big mistake it was...
That you took something from me by going...
Tell you that you will always be in my heart! Forever!

It hurts so much to be without you!

My friend...
My love...
My everything...

I wanna be your girl again!

But I know, you wont accept my excuses...

Fact is: I left you...

                                                                                                    ... But I still love you sooo much!!!



You are the only one, who understood me, my moments, my depressions, my sedness and my cutting! You understood my life... You had always been there for me, and I have to say thank you, for doing this to me! thank you for saving my life!

I really wish I could go back to you, forget what I did to you and you would wrap your arms around me and pet my hair. i wish you could forgive me...

Your...

Last Unicorn

4. July 2011

Dear Özge;

I am missing you so much! It's horrible!
I can't hold it out...

I am just crying! No one will replace you! No one could take your place ... you will always be here in my little lost heart!

Tears are slowly running down my face... salty tears...
Sometimes when you cried, I told you, i will kiss your tears away...
I wish you would do the same for me! I wish you would forgive me and love me again!

I would do everything for you now. i know it was wrong to choose this way, and I want to come back....

I've painted a picture of you... You can see it here under "How it feels..."
I wish you would see it in reality!

I really don't want that you are hating me now... and I wish, I could do something for I can come home...

Home...
'Cause once you said that my home is in your arms... You.... You are really the best I've ever had, and as I told you, i would give everything for you!

Oh Özge, I am crying soooo much!
Please let me come home...
Please let me love you!!!


Your...

Last Unicorn

5. July 2011

Özge;

Our conversation yesterday... I have to thank you.
Thank you for reading this text.
Thank you for accept my picture of you. I set it on my wall...

No matter what will happen to me, you will always be with me.
It’s an empty life without you! It’s a senseless way of being! Every  step i take is burning like fire! I feel like walking on broken glass, and it's cutting deeply in my soul!

You’ve been the one for me!

And even if you would not talk to me further, even if you would forget me… I tell you, you can't break my dreams! And in this dream is only you!

I am crying, when I am thinking of you and Bilbo. I will never pet his smooth fur; never hear him saying “mmrrrrrr”… I won’t see him growing… playing… sleeping…
And you will never be my little kitten anymore. I will never make you sleep on my lap; never pet you while sleeping; watch your sweet face…
I will never kiss your cute nose… I will never kiss your soft lips… I will never feel your skin on mine… I will never touch you… hear your voice, hear you laughing… I will never hold your hand anymore...

Only in my dreams…

I need you!!

I need you soo much!!

You said, life will go on… Maybe for you life won’t stop, but for me it has already ended. The world stands still…
You are the love of my life and everything is wrong without you!
I disappointed you… I hurt you… I left you…

But please understand, I never lied when I said I love you!
I love only you, I know it!!!
Please believe me...

You still have my heart...
Please take care of it as it was you own…

Oohhhhh these stupid tears…

Your...

Last Unicorn

6. July 2011

Love...

Thank you for your answer in my "Gästebuch".
It's soo.. soooooo sweet! Would you really do this for me? Still? And... do you really believe me? And why do you still love me? :'(


Today, I went out with Mini in a forest. It was raining... I just needed some time for myself. To think about everything... (And in the rain, no one could see me crying again)
Yes.. everything is difficult now. A friend wants to cut herself cause I don't love her.. You know, I told you about her...
She can't accept it...

My life is so empty... and so crowded... To much emotion for me... I can see myself dying. The love you is killing me fom inside, I'm loosing my wight already now.. I don't know why.
I am lost... I am guilty... I am bad! How can I stay alive now?

The only one who is holding me back here, is you!


It is so hard... You know!


For you it's hard too, right?
I am soo selfish... I am always just talking about myself and how I feel... But.. for you, I think, it's more worse!

I've drawn Kira and Rei...
I'll upload it later 'cause I've not finished it yet... I have to colour it now.. I was thinking about you and me, when I was drawing. Once you said, we are like Rei and Kira... that's why...

I wish we could be them now, 'cause they never left each other... or more over, Kira never left Rei... She loved him too much! As much as I do!! But she never broke Rei's heart! Thats the different...
Ohhh, why am I looking for differents between Kira and myself? Why not for similarities?!

Okay, I promise, latest tomorrow it will be here... the picture...
.... It looks a little bit like an orgy, meant Dirk...

Mom and Dirk are asking for you. How you are, why there doesn't come a ... *hug* ..... from you... :'(

Oliver is also asking why i am soo bad now... So sad... So..... .....!

.... Hmmm....

Mini misses you! And I am also missing you! Everyone is missing you here... And everything is my fault!


Your...

Last Unicorn

7. July 2011

My dearest;

How can I tell you how much I love you, if we may not talk to each other?
How can I tell you??
How???

I always loved you! And I will love you till the end of my days!! And even longer!

Maybe you're right...
Maybe... we really need this, but I don't understand why?!
Please God, tell my why?? :'(

... <3 All I know is that i love you! Soooooo much!
And if we really want it, we can do this! If both of us want it...

And ... please!! I AM SOOOOOO SOOOO SORRYYYYY!!! :'(

I know you can't forget...  v_v
I know...
....

But...


You were like a dandelion to me... always pretty, always nice, always beautiful... you stood by me in the rain, and watched with me the sunrise. Sleeped with me under the moonlight, and watched the floating clouds on the sky with me!
Or maybe it just seems like this?!
But then the time came to say goodbye! The wind blow you away... but your sowing sat down in my heart. And now there grows a whole garden, full of dandelions inside of me now. Some great and beautiful, sweet and cute dandelions... You! Every flower is a memory of you...
And each day I can see them... those dandelions... and they reminds me of you.. Everythig we shared, everyday we were together... our love


I love you untill snow is no longer white, and sun is no longer shining!

Even if you can't forgive me, and even if you can't forget what i did to you... :(

But I know... memories and dreams will not bring you back...

My angel...

I love you!!!



Your...

Last Unicorn

8. July 2011

My dear prince;

Last night was the last of Moomin. She died... I don't know why! I don't know how!
I was looking at her, and... I saw her dying... I couldn't help her!

Oh my little baby!!!! My princess!!

Everything is going away from me...


... And.. to your "Gästebuch"-message I have to be honest. I don't know how you can trust me!

I love you!!


I am again crying! I lost you, I lost her!
WHY?


Your...

Last Unicorn


R.I.P. little beautiful Moomin-Peanut <3 ... Little Princess!!!
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