it doesn't have to be this way.
oh but it does. you don't understand, of course, how could you?
you're not the one hurting. and even if you were, you would never hurt the way I do.
pain, so unbelievably much pain.
i can't bear it.
restless nights with my raging mind and you want to stay friends.
friends. i don't have friends.
mind. i'll never be good enough for you.
look at her. look at her. look at her.
screaming.
silence.
pain.
FUCK
why. begging to be left alone.
praying i can find the strength to do. anything. good or bad. to me.
remembering that i'm not worthy.
everyone telling me that they think i do this for attention. hell, i don't even know if i do this for attention anymore.
people telling you who you are long enough, you start believing it.
unworthy. liar. bitch. attention whore. not enough.
you were so different. what changed?
i needed you. i thought you were going to be good for me.
and now i can't get back up, i'm down, i'm drowning, but i can't get out of the water and it just won't let me suffocate.
i don't understand, any of this.
scissors.