•Taoism: Shit happens.
•Confucianism: Confucius say, "Shit happens."
•Buddhism: If shit happens, it isn't really shit.
•Zen Buddhism: Shit is, and is not.
•Zen Buddhism #2: What is the sound of shit happening?
•Hinduism: This shit has happened before.
•Islam (moderate): If shit happens, it is the will of Allah.
•Islam (moderate) #2: If shit happens, kill the person responsible.
•Islam (fundamentalistic) #3: If shit happens, blame Israel.
•Islam (fundamentalistic): don’t take any shit - take hostages!
•Catholicism: If shit happens, you deserve it.
•Protestantism: Let shit happen to someone else.
•Congregationalist: Shit that happens to one person is just as good as shit that happens to another.
•Unitarian: Shit that happens to one person is just as bad as shit that happens to another.
•Lutheran: If shit happens, don't talk about it.
•Fundamentalism: If shit happens, you will go to hell, unless you are born again. (Amen!)
•Fundamentalism #2: If shit happens to a televangelist, it's okay.
•Fundamentalism #3: Shit must be born again.
•Judaism: Why does this shit always happen to us?
•BTG-E SAYS: If shit happens blame Silke
•Utopianism: This shit does not stink.
•Darwinism: This shit was once food.
•Capitalism: That's MY shit.
•Communism: It's everybody's shit.
•Feminism: Men are shit.
•Commercialism: Let's package this shit.
•Impressionism: From a distance, shit looks like a garden.
•Idolism: Let's bronze this shit.
•Existentialism: Shit doesn't happen; shit IS.
•Hedonism: There is nothing like a good shit happening!
•Mormonism: God sent us this shit.
•Mormonism #2: This shit is going to happen again.
•Scientology: If shit happens, see "Dianetics", p.157.
•Jehovah's Witnesses: >Knock< >Knock< Shit happens.
•Jehovah's Witnesses #2: May we have a moment of your time to show you some of our shit?
•Jehovah's Witnesses #3: Shit has been prophesied and is imminent; only the righteous shall survive its happening.
•Hare Krishna: Shit happens, rama rama.
•Rastafarianism: Let's smoke this shit!
•Atheism #2: I can't believe this shit!
•Russian Orthodox Church: Shit, we're out of vodka.
•Punk: Let's throw this shit at the government.
•Homosexual: Shit never was a problem
•Jedi: Really shit, episode three was
nein 
